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10 Unique Reddit Q&As on How To Effectively Set Goals

Okay, the headline is not 100% accurate as I also researched questions on Quora. During my last post I wondered how you look at the goal setting process. How you usually scribble down goals – or if you even set goals at all. I am kinda surprised how many different questions popped up. Sadly a good amount was connected to negative experiences. After scrolling through both plattforms I categorized your questions into:

  • How and what is the best method to set goals? 
  • How do you achieve your goals? 
  • I don’t have goals
  • Why do I feel like I can’t finish my goals?

 

So lets get right into the first questions:

How and what is the best method to set goals?

There are many different goal setting methods to apply. The most applied and looked for is the SMART goal theory by George Doran, Arthur Miller and James Cunningham. 

Check the full post on the SMART goal theory if you’ve missed it.

The Smart theory definitely explains  how to set goals that work. Nethertheless I’d like to add a second method I learned thanks to your questions:

Also Read: Goal Setting Methods of Successful Women. 

The 54321 goal setting method:

This method is based on setting goals for a certain time period. What do you want to achieve the next: 

 

  • 5 years
  • 4 months
  • 3 weeks
  • 2 days and
  • 1 hour?

Here is a Goal Setting Example for a  full-time blogger: 

 

  • 5 years I am a full-time blogger travelling the world
  • 4 months I have a set income (even if its not enough for fulltime yet) 
  • 3 weeks I have a thriving website with at least XXX traffic a month
  • 2 days I created my first 10 pieces of content, and set up social media accounts
  • 1 hour I buy a domain and set up my website

Noticed that I write in present tense?  Writing in present tense helps your brain sort the process in “its currently happening” and not in “I wish it would happen”. It is way more final. A solid message to yourself.

 

If you feel stuck,unsure of how to set goals, and what goals to set – you can use the different areas of goal setting explained in the following posts: 

financial goals
Family Goals

This is also a great way to break down goals into small feasible tasks. So what do you say? What’s the best way to set and attain goals? 

 

How do you set your life goals?

Set Your Goals Today -With the Digital Goal Planning Workbook!

The Goal Setting Workbook
Goal Setting Workbook

Get the 30 Pages of Goal Setting Here! 

Posts that will Improve/Inspire your Goal Setting:

Examples of Goals in Life Header
How to use the law of attraction for goal setting

How do You Achieve your Goals?

“I’ve set my goals, now what?” Thats probably what most goal setters wonder once they finish their goal sheet. 

 

Have you ever set your New Years Resolution and somehow lost track of it just a few days later? 

 

Working on your goals is hard, especially when you have a hundred million things you want to change! 

Also Read: The 12-Week Method To Achieve your Goals 

Step One: Don’t put too much on your plate!

Pick one goal and only focus on that one goal. You want to workout every morning and read 20 minutes at night? Thats fine, thats doable!

 

You want to build a 1 million dollar business withing 365 days while completely improving all your bad habits, and wake up at 5 AM every single day? I think you can imagine how that will turn out. Being realistic is key. Don’t focus on too much at the beginning. Change one thing at a time. 

No you are not missing out or get left behind by others

Starting slowly is still better that quitting your journey 2 weeks in because you put too much on your plate and can’t handle it. Actually most peoply won’t realize their goals – so if you accomplish just something small you are doing a great job!

 

Believe me. I always felt like I needed to achieve everything at the same time. Immediately. I was scared that others would have so much more accomplishments in the year that I pressured myself into overcommiting.  

But its just not realistic. Change comes in small pieces, with time and patience.

Step Two: Don’t Fear Failure or Mistakes

My grandma always says “If someone works he’ll make mistakes, and if someone doesn’t work he won’t make mistakes”

 

So if you don’t make mistake you don’t work and if you don’t work you won’t grow or learn. 

Make mistakes. Take responsibility. Be brave.

 

If you are scared think about what can go wrong. (Note: This doesn’t apply when you can get physically or mentally hurt!)  

Step Three: Have Faith

It will get better. Maybe your results aren’t as good as expected and you tried your hardest. You put in all the extra hours – but got nothing out of it. Don’t give up – keep trying. Try new things, new perspectives, new software programs, new  designs, new content. Try try try. If you want something that other people don’t have (or try to compete with them) you need to believe in yourself and the process. 

 

I always tell myself that everything has its point of time. If it didn’t happen yet, then the moment isn’t there. Have patience. 

 

Now let’s see what people do if they don’t know how to effectively set goals:

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3 Reasons Why people set a New Year's goal and it only lasts for about a month

  • Set too many goals for a small time period
  • Want to have immediate change and results
  • Don’t follow up with actions
  • Have low self-esteem and compare themselves with others
  • Set the wrong goals
  • Are scared to make mistakes /embarass themselves in front of others

You probably wonder “Why is goal setting so hard?”. The hard part is that you need to make a decision – how do you want to live? 

 

You need to take the risk to fail, to embarrass yourself – to take responsibility of your own actions. You need to motivate yourself to do better – constantly. Depending on your goals you need to work and hammer on your projects while others are out spending their saturday afternoons at the pool. 

 

We don’t want to miss out on life. But we also want to realize our dreams. 

Its hard to bring both together without falling back on old habits. Nor can we miss out on the lovely memories we make with our loved ones. 

 

Goal setting and achieving isn’t easy. But it is worth it at the end. It is a life long journey of learning and growing – trying, failing, trying again and failing again. 

 

But remember

 

“If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. It’s the hard that makes it great.” – Tom Hanks

Posts To Help You Pull Through When you Feel like Giving up:

How to stop using social media
Productivity System Header Blue Pink
Header Picture "Combat Procrastination"
why am i so demotivated head motivation yellow note don't quit
Header: How to force myself to do things tips for self-discipline Color: Blue Pink
Ways to be more Productive

I don’t have goals - what now?

Ever had to scribble down your goals in school and your brain just goes blank? It happens to all of us. 

 

Maybe you need to figure out who you are in life- and who you want to be. 

 

  • What do you like, what don’t you like? 
  • What are your strengths and weaknesses? 
  • What makes you happy/sad? 

You don’t need to aim for becoming a CEO to set goals. You can aim to join a book club or to simply eat one chocolate bar less a day. You can focus on the things you like and note down to visit your favorite places more often – or make the effort to call up your parents once in a while. 

Here are some Self discovery posts that will help you with your goal Setting:

Self Beliefs
get motivated
talents
strong mindsets
habit
energizer
becoming more aware of your strengths and weaknesses
what to do with my life

Why do I feel like I can't finish my goals?

This question intrigued me for several reasons – I’ve been there. I’ve been there many times. I scribbled all my goals down. Dreamed about them. And deep down I somehow new I would never reach them. It was sad really. Now looking back I had following habits that fueled my discouragement: 

 

  1. I set goals year by year but I quit everytime (by the end of January)
  2. I set my goals way too high
  3. I always started too empheurically into the new year and drained myself with overcommiting 
  4. I had low self-confidence
  5. I stopped when I had to step out of my comfort zone

Today I know that I started the year with the wrong mindset:  

“If I can’t accomplish it – then why do I even try?”

I didn’t care about the progress, the obstacles I would face and grow by.  I didn’t care about the journey I would go on. I only cared about the outcome. 

So when I stood infront of the first hindrance, I stopped and turned around. I gave up because I wasn’t mentally prepared to simply jump over it.

Lesson Learned:

If you don’t like the journey, you will not make it to your destination. Focus on the road, the scenary, the people you meet. Don’t waste your time thinking “what will happen once I get there”. Live in the present. 

Have you ever been in the same situation? Why did you quit your goals? What were the reasons?

Header Selfish Goals

What are 3 common mistakes people often make when setting goals?

  • They don’t learn from mistakes
  • They are influenced by others
  • They don’t track their progress  (MindTools)

Summary on how to effectively set goals:

  • Use a proven method to aim your goals (SMART or 54321 method) 
  • Don’t plan too many goals (or too complex ones) 
  • Be realistic
  • Analyze your resources and skills in advance
  • Break down goals in small time frames (weekly/monthly goals) 
  • Note down immediate actions you can take
How to stop using social media
Productivity System Header Blue Pink
Header Picture "Combat Procrastination"
why am i so demotivated head motivation yellow note don't quit
Header: How to force myself to do things tips for self-discipline Color: Blue Pink
How to stop using social media
Productivity System Header Blue Pink
Header Picture "Combat Procrastination"
why am i so demotivated head motivation yellow note don't quit
Header: How to force myself to do things tips for self-discipline Color: Blue Pink

10 Unique Reddit Q&As on How To Effectively Set Goals Read More »

7 Best Focus Tips when you are Overwhelmed – Why cant I concentrate & my brain feels fuzzy ?

Do you space out when you are overwhelmed? (I tell you a little secret, so do I 😉 ) When we are overwhelmed by our workload  we struggle with questions like: 

  • Why cant I concentrate 
  • How can I focus and be productive? I just can’t seem to at all. 
  • How do I stop my mind from wandering ?
  • I can’t function, what now?

At least that’s what I struggle with when I am overwhelmed. 

I either overthink or my mind is always somewhere else and I can’t focus.

Like at all…

Raise your hand if you’re feeling this! 🙋

Let’s take a look at: How to focus when you feel overwhelmed. In this post we’ll cover: 

  1. How to focus when you are overwhelmed and stressed
  2. Why does my brain feel fuzzy when I am overwhelmed & Why do I feel like I cant think clearly
  3. How to keep my mind from wandering
  4. Time management when you are overwhelmed
  5. Why do I freeze when feeling overwhelmed
  6. What to do when you are so overwhelmed you cannot function?

Since you probably struggle with concentration let’s jump right into the best tips to focus when you are overwhelmed 😉 

7 Best “ Why cant i concentrate“ Focus Tips for when you are Overwhelmed

1. Quick Tip: Shorten your To-Do List - To feel less overwhelmed

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Do you feel so overwhelmed with your daily to-do lists that you don’t accomplish anything at all? And you just can’t focus? 

  • Shorten your to-do list to the 3 most important tasks per day
  • Re-organize your tasks. How are they connected? Which tasks aren’t that important? 
  • Prioritize, and throw out stuff you don’t necessarily need to do. 
    • Dare to do the tasks poorly (better bad than not at all) 
    • Set time boundaries (Got a mountain of dishes, just clean them 10 minutes, leave the rest) 
  • Focus on one step at a time (E.g. Write 1 sentence; put on shoes; put on pants; go to the corner store) 
  • Can’t finish your to-do list? Don’t beat yourself up over it. 
  • Learn how to not overcommit yourself. Are you overwhelmed by your responsibilities? Maybe you took on too much. We have a full post on how to stop overcommitting. 

2. Get some fresh air and a little distance.

Before you come back to the list get some distance. Sometimes we need a time out. 

  • Take a walk through the forest. 
  • Drink some water. 
  • Sing a motivational song. (Which one is your favorite motivational song?) 
  • Work out (Burn all your frustrations and anxiety with a workout.) 
  • Sleep. (Sometimes a nap does wonders)

3. Improve your Focus

 

“Focus means eliminating distractions, not just from other people, but the things we do to distract ourselves.”

– Catherine Pulsifer

Can’t focus when you are overwhelmed? Here are some tips to improve your focus and attention span: (Spacing out allowed!) 

 

  • Find a quiet room (a library, study room, a coffee shop) 
  • Remove all distractions (Phone, Tablet, TV etc.) 
    • Switch between tasks if you can’t stay on one topic ( 5 Minute reading, 5 Minute writing, 5 Minute Stretching) 
    • Extend those periods, when your focus improves. 
  • Organize the order of your tasks in advance. 
  • Don’t stop when you are in “the flow”. (Don’t let anyone disturb you either) 
  • Try Grounding Techniques

Here is a post on how to force yourself to do stuff you don’t want to do and how to improve your self discipline 🙂 It might help as well. 

4. Celebrate what you’ve achieved

At the end of the day write down what you’ve accomplished in a “done-list” & celebrate your tiny achievements?

celebrate small wins

5. For the long-term start a healthy lifestyle.

6. Practice focus

Yeah, focusing can be learned. You can train it like self-discipline: 

  • Practice active listening. (You can listen to audiobooks)
  • Read long books (Each day a few minutes) 
  • Meditate

7. Find out what works for you

 

PS.: We love to hear and see from you: Leave us a comment ⬇️ & describe your day in 3 emojis

Why does my brain feel fuzzy when I am overwhelmed ? & Why do I feel like I cant think clearly?

What happens if you get too overwhelmed? When our responsibilities are stacking, and our to-do lists explode we often feel like we are“in over our heads”. I lose motivation and focus when overwhelmed. We get that fuzzy brain feeling. Overworking and being overwhelmed can cause: 

  • Mental slowness
  • Forgetfulness
  • Confusion, 
  • Difficulty concentrating 
  • Difficulties in thinking logically
  • A racing mind or an impaired ability to solve problems. 

 

It’s normal. If you have a fuzzy brain, but you aren’t overwhelmed there might be other causes! Like a lack of sleep, too much sugar, mental problems. Check out other fuzzy brain causes here.

How to keep my mind from wandering ?

Do you have a wandering mind? Here are some step you can take when your mind is always somewhere else: 

    1. Observe your distractions (Is it your phone, the mail pop up, certain thoughts? Find out what distracts you.) 
    2. Solve the problem (When I struggle with a problem, e.g. should I go to Korea or not,  I start overthinking, my mind keeps wandering to the same problem over and over like a fly goes towards dung.) Solve the problem even if it’s tiny like a broken light bulb. 
    3. Avoid your triggers. You always lose focus after watching the news? Or after talking to a certain mind boggling person. Avoid the trigger before you work. 
    4. Take your time. At least for me impatience can cause a loss of focus. 
    5. Focus music. I know I recommend it a lot, but it does work for me. 😉
    6. Accept the thought like in meditation. Recognize it. Write it down, when necessary and let it float away.
    7. Avoid coffee. When I drink coffee my thoughts jump, jump, jump from one topic to another. Great when you need many ideas. Not so great when I need to focus.

Time management when you are overwhelmed

Now, this step is crucial, there are a few time management techniques you can use when you are overwhelmed. Sometimes I m so stressed I cant focus. These Methods might be able to help: 

  1. Make an overview of all your projects. 
  2. Create a Master To-Do List. (Get the tasks out of your head)
  3. Prioritize. You can use the 80/20 rule or the Eisenhower Matrix
  4. Use the Pomodoro Technique
  5. Use Time Blocking and Task Batching
  6. Use the One-Day Rule
  7. Learn to Say No
  8. Fulfill your Needs First

Why do I freeze when feeling overwhelmed ?

Ellen Hendriksen, PhD explained, why we freeze when feeling overwhelmed as follows: “Your brain doesn’t just see a to-do list; it sees a threat. It sees the threat of scarcity: not enough time, not enough energy, not enough magical ability to fit everything into twenty-four hours. Or it sees the threat of failing, the threat of disappointing others, the threat of feeling incapable.” 

What to do when you are so overwhelmed you cannot function?

What to do when you cannot function because you are overwhelmed? When you are at a point at which you can’t focus. You are anxious, close to crying, and freaking out, because you’ve got so many responsibilities. Time to take a step back: 

  • Disconnect, leave the scene take a deep breath.
  • Hike, take a walk do some sunbathing, get out. 
  • Take care of yourself, plug out. 
  • Ask for help.
  • Go out with a friend.
  • See what someone else can do for you. 
  • Write it in your journal. 
  • Clean and tidy your home. 

Here are our best Brain Fog Remedies when your Brain Feels fried. 

Wrapping it up …

I hope you were able to get some valuable tips for when you are overwhelmed with too many things to do. And I hope we were able to answer your question: Why cant I concentrate and how to focus when you are overwhelmed. Here are our 7 best tips at one glance: 

  1. Shorten your To-Do List
  2. Get some fresh air and a little distance.
  3. Improve your Focus & Remove Distractions
  4. Celebrate what you’ve achieved with a “Done-List”
  5. Implement Long-Term Habits
  6. Practice your Focus Skills
  7. Find what works for you

 

 7  SimpleWays to IncreaseProductivity: 

  • Sometimes you need to take a step back to move two forwards (Look at the big picture if you feel lost) 
  •  Turn off any shows, movies, or podcasts that are more distracting the helpful
  • Switch places if you #cantFocus at your current location
  • Start with a quick 5-minute task if you don’t feel like working or alternatively a hard task if you are super #motivated first in the morning
  • Take care of your body, soul, and also your surroundings – A #CleanWorkspace makes everything better
  • Check your #habits – (especially the bad ones!)

Want to learn more on how to increase #productivity? Then read this article on how to build your own productivity system!

 

Tag someone you know who NEEDS to see this! And let us know your favorite Focus Tip below. Feel free to save this post for the next time when you feel overwhelmed by your workload.

7 Best Focus Tips when you are Overwhelmed – Why cant I concentrate & my brain feels fuzzy ? Read More »

How To Boost Your Motivation With Maslow’s Pyramid of Needs (+ free Worksheet)

maslow's Pyramid of needs examples in real life

Have you ever sat in front of your desk, the work or school folders piling up left and right and you just cannot find the motivation to start? Yes, that is exactly where I am right now. 

 

Frustrated. Bored. Maybe even overwhelmed. But how come on some days we just seem so overexcited and put our whole heart into whatever our current project is, and the next day we are struggling so much to push forward? 

 

So, to learn how we stay motivated I must explain why we sometimes are not motivated. Abraham Maslow explained the connection of a human motivation with the hierarchy of needs – so let’s take a look at this stunning pyramid:

The explanation behind Maslow’s pyramid is simple: Starting from the lowest row, the physiological level, human beings first look out to find all needed elements to survive. This is our survival instinct. If we are thirsty, we first will look for liquids or if we are moving to another place, we will first set up an accommodation to sleep in.

 

That is why most cities are located close to rivers or oceans as it was easier for people to gather water quickly and to even hunt down their food at the river. As most of the world is already set up with a stable food production this mostly is relevant for people in poor or war inflicted countries or in general homeless people. One factor that on the other hand fits the whole world population is sexual frustration. Who knew sex can also improve your motivation?  I am sure everyone finds their own solution for this.

Find your Motivators and Demotivators to easily motivate yourself. 

Once all the different aspects of the first row are covered and our minds are at rest, we will move on to the second stage: Safety. How scared would we be if we could not lock our doors at night? Or what would we do if we would lose our job at any second? Wouldn’t we be on alert every second.

Mulling over what could happen? I cannot speak for the whole world, but the German tax system deducts 2.6% of every employer’s monthly income for unemployment and supports with this sum unemployed people. The same goes for health insurance with a percentage of 14.6%. Therefore, the German government already covered two parts of the second row by law and took the fear of financing sickness and sudden unemployment from the population’s minds. Or at least they try.

How can you improve your feeling of safety? Especially when you are a person who worries all the time?

The next chapter talks about Love and Belonging. I think the most popular example is the relationship to one’s parents. How many of us were more motivated to study hard or to practice an instrument for hours or maybe even play sports all day just to earn our parents love and respect? I belong to this group. I was bad in school and I did a lot of incomprehensible things when I hit puberty, but I wanted nothing more than a single compliment.

Just one sign that my mother is proud of me. I have studied so hard that I did the impossible, I got an amazing grade in maths and even got a compliment by my math teacher.  I saw that she was happy and relieved and maybe even a bit proud and I was happy even without words. How are your relationships to other people? Do you feel like you belong? How can you improve your relations?

Find your Extrinsic and Intrinsic Motivators to catapult your Motivation.  

Now that I look back at my own old self, I must admit that the motivation to please another is quite interesting. (Don’t try to please everyone, but if you are a people pleaser use it to your advantage to increase your motivation! – Quick side note from the people pleaser sister)

What could I achieve if I would have this kind of motivation in every area of my life? Would I have my own music album by now? Created a cool Instagram campaign? Or who knows, maybe I even would have gotten a scholarship to Oxford if I would have pushed it further. Ladies, the past is over, but the present is not, so let us find the motivation to transform into our best selves.

But first we have another stage to cover: Esteem. I really do not have to say much about it. If you ever had been on any social media platform you for sure have seen the world of the riches. Young adults and little kids bragging with their designer clothes, villas and sports cars while most American young adults drow in consumer debt.

Money builds your reputation and based on your reputation you get the amount of respect you earn in public eyes.  But not only money can get you respect and self esteem shouldn’t only depend on others.

One of my friends always loved drawing while the other was a hard-typing hobby author. They knew they were good at this so they had self confidence and their role as a specialist gained them respect by others. I firmly believe that everyone has something they really like to do and are good at. So be proud of yourself. How else could you improve your self esteem?

Now let us come to the last row and the top of the pyramid: Self- actualization. I questioned myself for a long time if I have ever reached this part of Maslow’s hierarchy and surprisingly, I did hit this stage from time to time. There are these few days where I wake up absolutely happy and excited for no reason. I don’t really know how to explain this atmosphere, but it feels like my soul is at peace – like I can do whatever I please without any consequence that matters.

Maybe you are so far in Maslow’s pyramid that the last stage is your daily life, but we are all individuals and we can and should not compare other people’s stages to our own progress. We are all valid no matter where we are in life or how long we spend on one level.

So now come back to the wild waves of motivation:

Maslow explained in his paper “A Theory of Human Motivation” in 1943, that people aim for the self-actualization level in their life but first must solve the basic needs of the levels underneath.

I have created a free template for you below:

So let’s take the level of safety as an example: You want to buy a house, a very typical westernized dream of many Americans and Europeans (but also international)- but would you really have the motivation to save money for a house if you would have to starve? Probably not. It would be safe to assume that you would buy food instead and move the dream of an own house into the future. 

To close this entry, I would really like to say that motivation and goal setting are both important parts of personal growth and both lead to an increased productivity.

What to Read Next:

How To Boost Your Motivation With Maslow’s Pyramid of Needs (+ free Worksheet) Read More »