Zoe’s alarm goes off at 5 am. It is a month before exams start and she needs, due to her lack of previous preparation, as much time as she can get. So like every semester she creates an exam survival plan: Wake up at 5 AM, brush teeth, workout, shower, write a to-do list and then study till 8 PM. Zoe follows this routine until exams are over and the much-awaited semester break starts.
Zoe sighs in relief. No more waking up at 5 AM, next time she’ll start studying earlier to avoid waking up so early. But guess what? Next time Zoe doesn’t start earlier either. Shel finds herself in the same situation over and over again. Why? Because she drops her study routine as soon as the exam period is over and goes back to her old bad habits.
The best way to explain this is by showing a graph mentioned in the book The Slight Edge (Olson, 2011):
Why you are failing:
Source: The Slight Edge, Olson J. (2011)
You can see a line jumping between survival and failure. The reason is that indeed our body and mind does everything to survive. It could be a natural cause we try to survive, like when we are drowning and our body fights to stay on the surface (Olson, 2011), But it could also be us trying to survive consequences of our current negative behaviour.
In Zoe’s case, she started to change her routine. She knew she would fail the class if she kept procrastinating. So she found a way to avoid this consequence by waking up at 5 AM and studying all day.
And just like Zoe, most people are following this behavior: Once they are in a difficult situation they change their behavior to avoid negative consequences.
But why does the line not stay at survival?
Because once we are out of danger we relax and let loose. We let go of whatever we did to survive and go back to our old habits. And this is exactly why so many people are stuck in this circle!
How do we reach the success bar then?
Well this is also what Jeff Olson wondered and he came to the conclusion that whatever keeps us alive can also push us to the next level – if we keep doing it.
Source: The Slight Edge, Olson J. (2011)
So think about what made you survive your last survival situation? Was it like Zoe’s early mornings? Or late nights? Did you work overtime? Or if it’s health-related – did you drastically lower your sugar intake?
Habits can make or break your life. It just depends on if they are good or bad.
What is a Habit?
According to charlesduhigg.com “a habit is a behavior that starts as a choice, and then becomes a nearly unconscious pattern”
So it is in your hands to start a certain act, like waking up at 5 AM or just reading 10 pages of a book every day. It is your decision. And if you set your mind to repeat this act over and over again it will not only get easier but at a point you will do it unconsciously.
What benefits do Habits bring?
According to Realization.Inc there are several benefits to forming habits:
- Saving time
- Improving accuracy
- Performing more efficiently
- Promoting comfort
- Increasing competence
- Enhancing outcomes
You might also be interested in: How to build a habit during quarantine.
What are my current Habits and How do I form my Habits?
So first you need to figure out what habits you want and don’t want in your life and then act (or not) upon them. Constantly. Until it is no longer a decision but an unconscious act.
What are your current habits? Are they good or bad? What habits do you want to keep? Or want to learn? How can you build those habits on a daily basis?
Act. Or don’t act. It depends on what habit we are talking about.
- If you want to stop smoking, you need to stop buying cigarettes.
- If you want to lose weight you need to start eating healthy or working out.
- If you want to be more extroverted you need to start talking to people.
- If you want to be more productive you need to stop watching Netflix all day.
How long does it take to form a Habit?
Healthline.org states that forming a new habit can take between 18 to 254 days. The average thereby is 66 Days.
Also very common is the 21 /90 Rule by Dr. Maxwell Maltz
21/90 means that a person needs to act (or not) 21 days to form a habit and then additionally 90 days to make a “permanent lifestyle change” – Claire O’Brian
So in Zoe’s case she will study every day for 21 days to make studying a habit and then continue for another 90 days to avoid the Exam survival routine in the future.
3 mistakes that make you Fail :
But if it was that easy everybody would do it. So before we move on with the gigantic habit list I’d like to mention some mistakes that might give you some hardships:
- Overthinking: We love to self-sabotage. So every time you lay in bed and think about hitting that snooze button you need to stop thinking and start acting. I know how hard it is and yes, I’ve been there! I still do fail at times. But our thoughts can be super pessimistic and make things harder than they are.
- Making Excuses: Stop the excuses. Yes, you have time to read 10 pages a day. Yes, you have time and energy to go running after work. No, healthy food is not expensive. Stop the excuses!
- Taking on too much: You don’t need to change your whole life from one day to another. Take it easy – One step at a time. What is currently the most important habit you want to integrate in life? Concentrate on that one first!
Finally! Let's come to 60 Habits that change your life!
Morning Routine:
- Waking up at a certain time
- Brushing your teeth
- Skincare routine
- Showering
- Opening your windows
- Do your bed
- Check your emails
- Look in the mirror and practice positive self-talk
Cleaning:
- Do the Dishes
- Clean the floor
- Take out the trash
- Do laundry
- Recycle
- Declutter
- Clean the Bath
- Declutter your PC/Phone/Tablet
Self-Love:
- Meditate
- Stop working after 8PM
- Face Masks and Bubble Baths when stressed
- Make time for family and friends
- Pick flowers/Grow Plants
- Take a day off per week
- Take time to be creative (Draw, Craft, Sew, Make Candles)
- Give compliments to strangers (can be inform of comments or directly)
Self-Improvenment:
- Journal
- Read 10 pages every day
- Work 30min on your goal
- Study 30 -60min daily (Can be a skill related to your goal, a language, school etc)
- Write down 5 things you are grateful for
- Only watch one hour TV/Netflix
- Don’t Multitask
- Do the ugly tasks first
- Take time to self-reflect
- Listen to a podcast/TedTalk
- Preplan your week
- Volunteer
- Write down your thoughts
Health:
- Drink 2l of water daily
- Lower sugar intake
- Workout
- Take a walk
- Go outside
- Eat 5 fruits and vegetables every day (or an apple?)
- Have breakfast
- Don’t watch TV while eating
- Take your medication and vitamins
- Do back pain exercises
- Sleep 8 hours a day
- Sight exercises
- Stretch every evening
- Yoga
- Floss
Money:
- Stop Stress/Bored/Frustrations-shopping
- Live on a budget
- Put a % of money aside every month
- Sell/Gift old things you don’t need anymore
- Don’t buy anything unnecessary
- Cook at home (instead of eating out)
- Make homemade coffee (instead of a coffee brand)
- Workout at home (Instead of gym)
Habits of Successful people:
- Morning exercise
- Eating healthy
- Takes time to destress (By reading)
- Practices daily gratitude
- Takes care of her finances
- Morning exercise
- Reads daily
- Washes dishes every night
- Avoids multitasking
- Learns from his mistakes
- Takes care of his finances
(Source)
- Checking Headlines
- Morning exercise
- Hugging his children before they leave for school
- Waking up at 5 AM
- Social Media
- Healthy diet
- Morning Workout
- Reading
- A daily bath
- Washing her face before bed (even at 4 AM!)
Now I know that building a habit is not a quick process but there is a cool way to keep track of your progress:
Crafting a Habit Tracker:
Basic Habit Tracker Layout
Not only is it a nice add-on for your journal but you also can download an app on your phone. I prefer to create my own one in paper form and stick it somewhere to my monthly planner.
Next to using your creativity, you can also check your day off – which honestly makes me feel proud of succeeding every day! And you also have a nice overview of your progress.
But that’s it for this Lesson! Hope you have a wonderful time setting your habits and improving your life!
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Love from Germany,
Carina and Julia
Source: Olson J. (2011), The Slight Edge, p. 10-11, Life Success Media GmbH
