7 Unique Steps to Answer “What to do with my life in my 20s” – Living Intentionally with Purpose and Direction
Have you finished university and you think: “What to do with my life in my 20s now”? Or are you struggling in a brand-new 9 to 5 unhappy with how life is going?
When I’d finished university, I had so many dreams and things I wanted to experience. I remember making a bottle filled with folded notes on experiences and challenges I’d try next. I wanted to make a difference. Travel, try new hobbies, meet new people, go out. Instead, what I got was:
Get up, drive to work, work, get home, cook, clean go to sleep … and the day would begin anew. It slowly started to feel like I was stuck in a circle.
And everyone told me that’s what being an adult means. It’s normal. Don’t complain. Days can be dull. Bills must be paid. You want to build a future.
I was on my way to work, the air was crisp and fresh, the sun shining, and I had this overwhelming urge to turn around.
It’s not like my jobs bad. The team is awesome. But this lifestyle doesn’t go along with my dreams, and especially not with my long-distance relationship.
And so I took the time to figure out what I actually wanted from life, how to create my purpose, design my ideal life, and how to achieve it.
Maye the “conventional” life isn’t for you either? Or you want a career. Maybe you want to be a housewife and love to raise and support your family? Let’s find that out:
Get your daily journaling prompts to:
- Get to know yourself better
- Reduce stress
- Figure out what you really want.
1. Use The Jealousy Test to find out what you want in life
This is a very simple way to find your answer to “what do I do next with my life”. Have you ever been envious of a friend, youtuber, classmate, artist, or sibling for what they own or have achieved?
Guess what, you want what that person has! Maybe a:
- certain aspect of their lifestyle
- objects they have
- people they meet
- skills they possess
- accomplishments they’ve achieved
Take your journal (if you don’t have one yet check out why you must have one or you’ll miss out). Now write down everyone you are jealous of and why. What is it you exactly envy them for?
Here is a free template for your journal and some inspiration on how to start. You are welcome :’).
If possible, talk with the people you are jealous of. How did they get to where they are? What could your first steps look like? If the person is online, do some research on them. You might also buy their autobiography if they have one.
2. The Value Check to find your purpose
Are you doing what feels right or are you doing something that leaves you feeling uneasy?
Maybe you are working against your core values. And that is incredibly draining. Core values let you judge what’s important in life. And if your goals align with them, you’ll need a lot less energy to work on them. Here is a simple core values exercise:
- Write down all the values you think you have. Use the following questions as a guide:
- Which values are important to you?
- When have you felt really happy, proud, confident? Which values were at play?
- For additional values read the Schwartz theory of basic values explained here!
- Or get our free list of Core Values for inspiration.
- Group all similar values.
- Shorten your list to 3 to 5 values.
Now which lifestyle, career would let you live out those core values? Where are those core values needed? Would that job be something for you? Make a list circle your top 5 choices. Want to create your list of core values? Check our core value post! It also helps to learn more about your personality type.
3. The Stick Figure Exercise - The Current Self vs The Ideal Self
Really love this exercise. For this you take a piece of paper and draw 2 stick figures.
On the left you write down your current situation, your self-image, your self-beliefs, and your habits. This can include your skills, what you own, your education. To learn about your self-beliefs, self-image and habits click on the links!
On the right you write down who you want to be, what you want to own, what you want to know, who you want to be with. 
You can for example have:
- Social Goals (e.g.: volunteering, networking, friends, family)
- Financial Goals (e.g.: saving, investing, earning)
- Health Goals (e.g.: losing weight, healthy habits, work-life-balance)
- Growth Goals (e.g.: personal development, skills, knowledge)
- Ownership Goals (e.g.: a house, car, island
)
Now make a plan. How do you get from A to B? Again, it helps to look at people who have already achieved what you want to achieve.
4. The Gravestone Technique
This is a technique I learned from Ali Abdaal’s Youtube Channel. What we want to do here is think about what we want people to write on our gravestones. I know this is a little sad, but a very insightful exercise.
For me I would want them to write:
- a loving mother, daughter, sister, wife
- free spirited and courageous (Gryffindor at heart 😉)
- inspirational
Now imagine what your friends, colleagues, family would say about you?
What would you want them to say?
How would you have to behave in order for them to have that opinion of you?
Often, we focus too much on career and achievements. With this exercise you get a sense of how your social goals might look like.
Now think about what you would want to be written on your Wikipedia site? Those are the achievements you want to accomplish.
5. The Odyssey Plan
Thanks to Ali Abdaal I learned about this genius Youtuber Unjaded Jade and about the Odyssey plan.
So, this is how it works. Take your journal and write down:
- What your life would look like in 5 years if you continued down your current path.
- What would your life look like if you chose a completely different path?
- What would your life look like if money and society expectations didn’t exist?
Are there themes in these 3 plans that overlap?
6. Motivators & Demotivators, Strengths & Weaknesses, Talents & Skills
Another way to figure out what to do with your future is to look at your:
Make a spreadsheet with 8 columns and write them down. Motivators and strengths as well as talents and skills can indicate what you like. Demotivators and weaknesses show you what you want to avoid.
7. Follow Your Interests
When you do something that interests you, time just seems to pass. You don’t feel bored or stressed. You learn it easily. You can spend hours on it without difficulty. Learn how to find out what interests you here. As long as your job, career includes aspects that interest you. Regardless of the job title, you will enjoy them.
Take Your First Step: Set Goals With The Goal Setting Workbook
To warp it up...
Don’t worry if you haven’t figured it all out. No one has it all figured out. Learning about yourself takes time. Your goals and dreams change. Choose a goal. Test if it’s the right path for you. If not, try something else.
What to do next? Our recommendation in your 20s is to experiment. Make experiences. Volunteer. Follow someone you admire. Do internships. Start a side hustle. Follow your interests. As a first step chose one interest and make one real life experience in the field.
There is so much pressure on us to have it “all figured out”. To have one goal. To become an expert at something. The term “find your purpose” has been almost as hyped as “having a soulmate”.
I disagree. Let your interests carry you. Find out what you enjoy. In the future, there will be jobs we can’t even imagine yet. The world is changing so fast. An inflexible long-term goal will only hold you back. You can create your own purpose. And you can recreate it, when it doesn’t suit you anymore.
Get a direction. Start moving. Adjust. This doesn’t mean to get lazy. Make short-term goals (LEARN TO SET SMART GOALS HERE) to get moving and to create a sense of urgency.
Not specific enough.
Be specific