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How to get Super Motivated – Figure out your Motivators & Demotivators

Good Morning Troublemakers, are you asking yourself “How to get motivated?” Why am I demotivated despite having plenty of time? You have all those big aspirations, but you just can’t get yourself to do the things you are supposed to do? 

I certainly have days I have 0 motivation. On other days I don’t mind working from morning till night. Time just seems to fly. What makes those days different? 

In this lesson, we will learn about what motivates us (motivators), what demotivates us (demotivators), and how to use them to stay motivated.

 

TIME  ≠ MOTIVATION

1. Definition of Motivation

Often, we ask ourselves: 

  • How do I get motivated to work out?

  • How do I get motivated to clean? 

  • How do I get motivated to study? 

  • How do I get motivated to work? 

 

But what is motivation? Motivation stems from the  Latin word “movere” which means “to move”. Motivation causes us to move, to take actions towards a goal. The motivation can be intrinsic, from within, or extrinsic, from external sources. 

 

Our motivation depends on our wants, needs, and expected reward/ expected punishment: 

 

  • I want to travel the world.

  • Therefore, I need to get an online job. > MOTIVATION

  • If I get an online job, I expect to travel the world. 

 

  • I want to get a great grade. 

  • Therefore, I need to study more. > MOTIVATION

  • My professor said if I get another bad grade I fail.

 

 

Figure out what you really want with our Ultimate list of Core Values!

 

2. Motivation Theories and What you can learn from them!

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Get Motivated with Maslow's Pyramid of Needs

 

According to Maslow, our Motivation depends on our Needs. We are always motivated to fulfill our base needs first. Only when the lower levels are fulfilled do we feel motivated to achieve the more complex needs. If the need is satisfied, we don’t get motivated.

First, our physiological needs, such as our need for food, sleep, and sex have to be fulfilled. When these requirements are not met our body and mind cannot function well. After those needs have been relatively fulfilled, we feel motivated to work on achieving our safety needs next. 

Safety needs include a safe job, our health, a house, a stable income. After we have fulfilled our safety needs, we will be motivated to work on our needs of belonging. This includes making friends, having a relationship, being close to our family. 

Finally, when our self-esteem needs, such as being respected by the community,  have been met, we are motivated to achieve our need to self-actualize. 

 

What can you learn from Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs for your personal self-motivation? 

Before starting a challenging task rest well and eat enough. If we aren’t well-rested and hungry, we will have difficulties concentrating, deliver mediocre results, and have a hard time motivating ourselves.

Also, think about how finishing a task can help you achieve one of the base needs. Like if I write that application, I can get a better job, therefore  I can buy myself higher quality food.

 

>> Check out the full post on Maslow’s Pyramid of Needs <<

 

McClelland’s Human Motivation Theory

According to McClelland’s theory we learn our motivators over time. We acquire them from our environment, our family and friends, and the experiences we make. 

There are 3 types of motivators, which impact each of us differently: 

 

• achievement: the need to accomplish excellence or mastery in something we do

• affiliation: a need for relationships, a sense of belonging, community

• power: a need for control and making a lasting impact

 

How to get motivated with McClelland’s Human Motivation Theory:

Take charge of a project, turn a task into a competition or work in teams to get motivated. 

Find out what best motivates you and experiment with those motivators. 

 

Vroom’s Expectancy Theory

According to Vroom’s Expectancy Theory motivation stems from the belief that achieving a task will lead to a desired outcome.

 

3 Factors influence motivation:

  • Expectancy: A belief that an effort is connected to the outcome

> If I put effort into my work, I will succeed, if I work harder the result will be better.

  • Instrumentality: A belief that achieving the goal will cause a reward 

> If I work hard I will achieve my goal and get a reward

  • Valence: To which degree a person values the reward

> Do I want the reward? 

 

So, in simple: I will be motivated if I believe that my working hard will lead to me achieving my goal and getting a reward, which I value. 

 

How can I get motivated with Vroom’s expectancy Theory? 

In order to be motivated, I have to believe that the task makes sense and actually helps me achieve my goal.

There has to be a reward and the reward has to be worth my effort. So in order to be motivated, you have to pick tasks that bring you closer to your goal.

And you have to chose a reward that you value and actually want to achieve. 

 

3. Demotivators – What demotivates me?

Physical Demotivators:

  • Hunger

  • Tiredness

  • Pain 

Emotional Demotivators: 

  • Fear (e.g.: of Failure, Success, Embarrassment, Change)

  • Self-Doubt

  • Boredom

  • Feeling Overwhelmed

  • High risk / Uncertainty

  • Feeling like the task can’t be achieved

  • Frustrations (e.g.: Lack of Information, Lack of Tools, Crashing Laptop grrr) 

 

Keep in mind the absence of demotivation does not guarantee motivation!

 

4. Motivators – What motivates me?

What motivates us? There are internal and external motivators. Some motivators help us to strive towards a reward another set of motivators are those which help us avoid a punishment/ negative event. 

 

Internal Motivators:

+ Purpose  

+ Interest/ Fun -> Find your Interests here!

+ Curiosity

+ Security

– Shame

 

External Motivators:

+ Achievement

+ Recognition / Praise

+ Reward e.g.: Money

+ Company/ Teamwork

+ Competition

+ Feedback/ Control

+ Freedom

+ Music

– Negative Consequences e.g.: Failure, Losing Money

 

Exercise:

Take a pen and paper. On one side write everything down that motivates you. On the other side write everything down that demotivates you! You can use the following questions as a help: 

  • When do I feel the most motivated? 

  • When was the last time I finished a task fully concentrated? What was different? 

  • When do I feel really unmotivated? 

  • How have I motivated myself in the past? 

 

5. Personal approach to self-motivation

  • Life doesn’t always give us interesting tasks. But they still need to get done. Sometimes it’s all about making myself do those tasks despite being unmotivated. 

 

  • It’s all about getting started! Pick the most important task of your to do list that will get you the furthest. Now break it apart into tiny steps and start with one. It’s all right if you don’t finish it. Usually, working on a task gets easier after starting. This way you won’t feel overwhelmed! 

 

  • Start with the easiest task from your list. You heard me right the easiest. Finishing a small task will lift your mood and will motivate you to start on the next tiny task on the list. This is another approach I use when I don’t feel motivated. 

 

  • Make a habit of it. I have certain days I work on certain things. I don’t have to think long about what to do, since it is always the same. 

 

>> Check out our Ultimate Guide to Habit Change! <<

 

  • Know yourself. Know what motivates and demotivates you and use it to your advantage. My sister gets motivated studying in a coffee shop, while I like to work in company alongside someone. The better you know yourself the better you can manage your motivation!

 

  • Use music to manage your emotions. We will do a whole post on emotion management later on. Just know that music is a great tool to manage your emotions. You wanna do a kick ass task. Turn on some kick ass music. For example, you use epic music while writing, happy beats for cleaning, and something fast for working out. 

 

  • When I procrastinate, I try to procrastinate with something that has to get done as well. Let’s say I am supposed to write a post, but I don’t feel like it. Instead, I might create a Pinterest Pin. Yes, it’s not what I am supposed to do. But sooner or later it needs to get done as well. 

 

  1. Wrapping it up

Get to know yourself! The better you know your motivators and demotivators the better you can use them to your advantage. 

Therefore, to finish this post we will give you a little task. Pick a task from your to do list. Grab your list of motivators and demotivators. 

Try out one of the motivators and get started! Tomorrow try the next one until you find your perfect self-motivation strategy! 

Over the next days try to get rid of some of your demotivators. 

 

<< LESSON 5 

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Love from Germany,

Carina and Julia

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An Ultimate Guide to Habit Change – 60 Habits that can Change Your Life As a Young Professional

Zoe’s alarm goes off at 5 am. It is a month before exams start and she needs, due to her lack of previous preparation, as much time as she can get. So like every semester she creates an exam survival plan: Wake up at 5 AM, brush teeth, workout, shower, write a to-do list and then study till 8 PM. Zoe follows this routine until exams are over and the much-awaited semester break starts.

Zoe sighs in relief. No more waking up at 5 AM, next time she’ll start studying earlier to avoid waking up so early. But guess what? Next time Zoe doesn’t start earlier either. Shel finds herself in the same situation over and over again. Why?  Because she drops her study routine as soon as the exam period is over and goes back to her old bad habits. 

The best way to explain this is by showing a graph mentioned in the book The Slight Edge (Olson, 2011):

Why you are failing:

Habits

Source: The Slight Edge, Olson J. (2011)

You can see a line jumping between survival and failure. The reason is that indeed our body and mind does everything to survive. It could be a natural cause we try to survive, like when we are drowning and our body fights to stay on the surface (Olson, 2011), But it could also be us trying to survive consequences of our current negative behaviour.  

In Zoe’s case, she started to change her routine. She knew she would fail the class if she kept procrastinating. So she found a way to avoid this consequence by waking up at 5 AM and studying all day. 

And just like Zoe, most people are following this behavior: Once they are in a difficult situation they change their behavior to avoid negative consequences.

But why does the line not stay at survival?

Because once we are out of danger we relax and let loose. We let go of whatever we did to survive and go back to our old habits. And this is exactly why so many people are stuck in this circle!

How do we reach the success bar then?

Well this is also what Jeff Olson wondered and he came to the conclusion that whatever keeps us alive can also push us to the next level – if we keep doing it.

Habits

Source: The Slight Edge, Olson J. (2011)

So think about what made you survive your last survival situation?  Was it like Zoe’s early mornings? Or late nights? Did you work overtime? Or if it’s health-related – did you drastically lower your sugar intake? 

Habits can make or break your life. It just depends on if they are good or bad. 

What is a Habit?

According to charlesduhigg.com “a habit is a behavior that starts as a choice, and then becomes a nearly unconscious pattern” 

So it is in your hands to start a certain act, like waking up at 5 AM or just reading 10 pages of a book every day. It is your decision.  And if you set your mind to repeat this act over and over again it will not only get easier but at a point you will do it unconsciously.

What benefits do Habits bring?

According to Realization.Inc there are several benefits to forming habits: 

  • Saving time
  • Improving accuracy
  • Performing more efficiently
  • Promoting comfort
  • Increasing competence
  • Enhancing outcomes

You might also be interested in: How to build a habit during quarantine. 

What are my current Habits and How do I form my Habits?

So first you need to figure out what habits you want and don’t want in your life and then act (or not) upon them. Constantly. Until it is no longer a decision but an unconscious act. 

What are your current habits? Are they good or bad? What habits do you want to keep? Or want to learn? How can you build those habits on a daily basis? 

Act. Or don’t act. It depends on what habit we are talking about.

  • If you want to stop smoking, you need to stop buying cigarettes.
  • If you want to lose weight you need to start eating healthy or working out. 
  • If you want to be more extroverted you need to start talking to people. 
  • If you want to be more productive you need to stop watching Netflix all day.

How long does it take to form a Habit?

Healthline.org states that forming a new habit can take between 18 to 254 days. The average thereby is 66 Days. 

Also very common is the 21 /90 Rule by Dr. Maxwell Maltz

21/90 means that a person needs to act (or not) 21 days to form a habit and then additionally 90 days to make a “permanent lifestyle change” – Claire O’Brian

So in Zoe’s case she will study every day for 21 days to make studying a habit and then continue for another 90 days to avoid the Exam survival routine in the future. 

Habits

3 mistakes that make you Fail :

But if it was that easy everybody would do it. So before we move on with the gigantic habit list I’d like to mention some mistakes that might give you some hardships: 

 

  1. Overthinking: We love to self-sabotage. So every time you lay in bed and think about hitting that snooze button you need to stop thinking and start acting. I know how hard it is and yes, I’ve been there! I still do fail at times. But our thoughts can be super pessimistic and make things harder than they are.

 

  1. Making Excuses: Stop the excuses. Yes, you have time to read 10 pages a day. Yes, you have time and energy to go running after work. No, healthy food is not expensive. Stop the excuses! 

 

  1. Taking on too much: You don’t need to change your whole life from one day to another. Take it easy – One step at a time. What is currently the most important habit you want to integrate in life? Concentrate on that one first! 

Finally! Let's come to 60 Habits that change your life!

Morning Routine:
  1. Waking up at a certain time
  2. Brushing your teeth
  3. Skincare routine
  4. Showering
  5. Opening your windows
  6. Do your bed
  7. Check your emails
  8. Look in the mirror and practice positive self-talk
Cleaning:
  1. Do the Dishes
  2. Clean the floor
  3. Take out the trash
  4. Do laundry
  5. Recycle
  6. Declutter
  7. Clean the Bath
  8. Declutter your PC/Phone/Tablet
Self-Love:
  1. Meditate
  2. Stop working after 8PM
  3. Face Masks and Bubble Baths when stressed
  4. Make time for family and friends
  5. Pick flowers/Grow Plants
  6. Take a day off per week 
  7. Take time to be creative (Draw, Craft, Sew, Make Candles) 
  8. Give compliments to strangers (can be inform of comments or directly)
Self-Improvenment:
  1. Journal
  2. Read 10 pages every day
  3. Work 30min on your goal
  4. Study 30 -60min daily (Can be a skill related to your goal, a language, school etc) 
  5. Write down 5 things you are grateful for 
  6. Only watch one hour TV/Netflix 
  7. Don’t Multitask
  8. Do the ugly tasks first
  9. Take time to self-reflect
  10. Listen to a podcast/TedTalk
  11. Preplan your week
  12. Volunteer
  13. Write down your thoughts
Health:
  1. Drink 2l of water daily
  2. Lower sugar intake
  3. Workout
  4. Take a walk
  5. Go outside
  6. Eat 5 fruits and vegetables every day (or an apple?)
  7. Have breakfast
  8. Don’t watch TV while eating 
  9. Take your medication and vitamins
  10. Do back pain exercises
  11. Sleep 8 hours a day
  12. Sight exercises 
  13. Stretch every evening
  14. Yoga
  15. Floss
60 Habits for a better life
Money:
  1. Stop Stress/Bored/Frustrations-shopping
  2. Live on a budget
  3. Put a % of money aside every month
  4. Sell/Gift old things you don’t need anymore
  5. Don’t buy anything unnecessary 
  6. Cook at home (instead of eating out) 
  7. Make homemade coffee (instead of a coffee brand)
  8. Workout at home (Instead of gym)
Habits

Habits of Successful people:

Oprah Winfrey: 

 

  • Morning exercise
  • Eating healthy
  • Takes time to destress (By reading) 
  • Practices daily gratitude
  • Takes care of her finances

 

Bill Gates: 

 

  • Morning exercise
  • Reads daily 
  • Washes dishes every night
  • Avoids multitasking
  • Learns from his mistakes
  • Takes care of his finances

(Source)

 

Gary Vee

 

  • Checking Headlines
  • Morning exercise
  • Hugging his children before they leave for school
  • Waking up at 5 AM 
  • Social Media

 

Emma Watson

 

  • Healthy diet
  • Morning Workout
  • Reading
  • A daily bath
  • Washing her face before bed (even at 4 AM!)

 

Now I know that building a habit is not a quick process but there is a cool way to keep track of your progress: 

Crafting a Habit Tracker:

Habits

Basic Habit Tracker Layout

Not only is it a nice add-on for your journal but you also can download an app on your phone. I prefer to create my own one in paper form and stick it somewhere to my monthly planner. 

Next to using your creativity, you can also check your day off – which honestly makes me feel proud of succeeding every day! And you also have a nice overview of your progress. 

But that’s it for this Lesson! Hope you have a wonderful time setting your habits and improving your life!  

 

<< LESSON 4   

If you enjoyed the content, please register for our newsletter. We update every Saturday/ Sunday.

Also, for updates follow us on:

 

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Love from Germany,

Carina and Julia

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Source: Olson J. (2011), The Slight Edge, p. 10-11, Life Success Media GmbH

An Ultimate Guide to Habit Change – 60 Habits that can Change Your Life As a Young Professional Read More »

“I hate my personality” – Understand your Personality and start your Personality Transformation

Have you ever thought “I hate my personality, how can I change it?” First of all, you aren’t the only one! According to a study on 6,800 adults between the age of 18 to 70 a minimum of 78% of people want to change parts of their personality. Good news scientists have also found that our personality isn’t fixed! Personality transformation is possible. Our personality changes throughout our life. Bad news if you want to change it on purpose you have to put some work into it! Wonder how? Keep reading .

 

What is our Personality?

What exactly makes us, us? How are we different from others? How are we similar to others? Our personality consists of a set of attributes.

It makes us think, feel and behave in a similar way in certain situations. It’s mostly stable but there is also variability. The easiest way for us to live would be to figure out our personality and find an environment where we fit in. 

But often we would like to change some attributes. How often do we think “I hate my personality, today” Ever been to a social event and thought I wish I was a little more outgoing? I certainly have. 

 

Interestingly we often describe ourselves more negatively than others would. Try this: Write down your personality attributes and afterward ask family, friends, and colleagues how they would describe you.

 

How I described myself:

personality transformation

How others described me:

What would you do with people who just give you negative feedback?

No personality attribute is just bad or good. Each has its upsides and downsides. If you want more information on personality, check out Brian Little’s awesome TedTalk.

 

But how was our personality shaped? Have we been born with those attributes? Or have we learned them? And if we have learned them, how can we unlearn them? 

How was our Personality Shaped?

When you read about personality development you can’t get around the nature vs nurture debate. While some scientists argue our personality is shaped by our genetics (nature) others argue the personality is developed through our experiences (nurture). Today most scientists agree both factors play a role. 

There are so many theories, so we will only name some. If you want a bigger list of theories check out simplypsychology they have written an amazing blogpost on many different personality theories.  

 

Trait Theories

According to trait theories people have certain traits that determine their personality. The theories suggest that there are a limited number of traits each person can scale on. Often the OCEAN Traits are named: 

 

  • Openness

  • Conscientiousness

  • Extroversion / Introversion

  • Agreeableness 

  • Neuroticism

 

Type Theories

 

Type Theories assume there are only a limited number of personality types. 

Type A: urgent, impatient, competitive, achievement-oriented

Type B: relationship-oriented, outgoing, easygoing

Type C: meticulous, logical, detailed, analytical, calm, dependable

Type D: task-oriented, cautious

 

Behavioral Theories

Behavioral theories suggest that personality depends on a person’s environment. People “learn” their personality through the experiences they make within their environment through social learning.

Humanist

Humanist theories focus on the individual’s ability to change through their free will and personal experiences. 

Gradual Personality Transformation

According to Nathan Hudson if you think “I hate my personality” and you want to change it you have to find specific actions to practice the chosen attributes you would like to acquire. You have to take small changes to act like the person you want to be. 

Let’s say you want to be more extroverted, you could: 

  • Meet 1 friend a week 

  • Message a friend a week 

  • Talk to one stranger

Nathan Hudson explains changing one’s character is like losing weight, It takes months of hard work and planning.

 

Step 1: Make a Plan

Write down your current personality attributes on one side of a paper and the attributes you would like to acquire or change in order to achieve your goals on the other.  Before you take action, you need to know where you want to go. Also, I recommend you ask other people about your attributes. Others might describe your “negative” attributes positively. Your perceived negative attributes might help you achieve your goals! Think about the following questions: 

  • Is that personality attribute really that bad? Or do I have negative self-beliefs?

  • Could I use the “negative” attribute somehow?  

  • Is there a person who has the character attributes I would like to acquire?

  • How does that person behave? 

  • How would I behave if I had those new attributes? 

 

Step 2: Challenge your Self-Beliefs

In order to change you need to believe it’s possible to change! If you think your personality is fixed, you’ll just give yourself excuses to behave in a certain way. I am introverted that’s why I don’t go to my colleague’s party. I just don’t do that. I can’t change my personality so why try? 

If you don’t believe you can change, guess what, you won’t change. 

 

Step 3: Practice, Practice, Practice

Fake it till you make it really works. In order to change you need to take actions. Planning alone isn’t enough. Wishing isn’t enough. What we all need to do is go out try, try again until our habits and behavioral patterns change. Until our mindset changes. 

You will feel uncomfortable at first, you will struggle, you will try to hold on to your old self. The known. But sometimes you have to jump into the unknown. 

In order to become someone new you will have to give up some parts of your old self. Like the phoenix. 

There are multiple ways to practice your new personality attributes: 

  • You can do weekly challenges.

  • Act like a certain character for a few hours.

  • Imitate people who have your desired personality attributes.

 

Challenge Ideas to become more extroverted: 

Please keep to your Covid regulations. Some of the ideas might not work in the current situation. 

  • Think about positive social events and replay them in your mind.

  • Visualize meeting with someone and the meeting going well!

  • Say hello to a stranger, for example a cashier. 

  • Invite a friend or colleague for coffee.

  • Join a group (For example a new in the city fb group) 

  • Give sb. a compliment.

  • Call sb. you haven’t talked to in while 

  • Volunteer

 

Challenge ideas to become less neurotic:

  • Write a gratitude Journal.

  • When you feel anxious take deep breaths

  • Meditate or practice Yoga.

  • Tell sb. why you are grateful for them. 

  • Take calming walks.

 

Challenges to raise your Conscientiousness.

  • Use reminders for deadlines.

  • Keep your promises.

  • Plan the day ahead.

  • Use cleaning schedules.

  • Keep in mind your most common mistakes.

  • Plan Meals ahead.

  • Keep your doctor appointments in mind.

  • Take responsibility.

 

Step 4: Give yourself Breaks.

There might be times where you feel frustrated, scared, angry. Give yourself days off. Relax. Personality Change takes time. It drives you to your limits and beyond. Think about all the things you’ve already achieved. Rather than what lies ahead. It is a journey. After a giant challenge, take time off. Not enough to forget what you’ve learned, but enough to destress. 

 

 

Last but not least: 

Personality Change is a Journey. If you really want to change your attributes, make a plan and stick to it! 

If you enjoyed the content, please register for our newsletter. We update every Saturday/ Sunday.

Also, for updates follow us on:

Pinterest:  projectgirl2woman

Instagram:  projectgirl2woman

Twitter:  @girl2_woman

 

Love from Germany,

Carina and Julia

 

<< LESSON 3                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    LESSON 5 >>

“I hate my personality” – Understand your Personality and start your Personality Transformation Read More »