I’ll be honest. I worry too much lately. My brain analyzes situations. I start obsessing about potential problems and get anxious. How about you can’t stop worrying about yourself?
I can’t seem to shut my brain up:
- “Have I turned off the oven?”
- “My health has been getting worse during Covid.”
- “Will my side hustle work out?”
- “Is it nuts to move to Korea now?”
- “Will there be war?”
- “What do I do if inflation gets worse?”
- “Can I afford heating next winter?”
I want to be prepared for literally everything, but sometimes it is awesome to let things go. Give up control and just have fun.
- Stop caring what people think
- Stop worrying about the future
- Stop worrying about money
- Stop worrying about work
- Stop worrying about things I can’t control
- Stop worrying about health
- Stop overthinking.
I can’t fault anyone for worrying these days. We still have a pandemic. We’ve been laid off. Inflation is eating our savings. A war in Europe. Housing prices… so much uncertainty and change.
But when worrying becomes chronic it has plenty of negative side effects:
- Not enough sleep
- Stress
- No fun
- Procrastination
- Bad Habits
- Headaches and muscle tension
- And so on
Now, most men just say stop worrying. As if there was an off button we just have to press. :’)
Let’s look at some practical tips we can use to stop worrying about ourselves:
1. Find out which fears make you worry (the most?). Can you influence those fears and worries?
I differentiate between worries where I am in control of a situation and worries where I can’t do anything. First I need to get to the heart of my worries and find out if I can do something about the situation causing them.
I disagree with Kevin Monaghan, who explained worry as something unhelpful and destructive. Yeah in the long run if we continuously worry about the same things it’s indeed destructive. Or when we worry about things outside of our control, when we accept that we worry without doing something about it.
Let’s say I worry about failing tomorrow’s presentation. Worry shows me I haven’t prepared well enough. In that case, I can make a practice plan, and present (the speech) in front of friends. Destructive would be to simply keep worrying and not do anything about the situation.
Sometimes our worries are justified. I need to give my worries room. Suppressing them or ignoring them won’t make them go away. Becoming aware of the reasons behind our worries and making plans that will nullify them is important in my opinion.
- Why do you worry? What’s the underlying problem?
- Can you do something about it? If so what?
- Make an action plan for things we can control fully or partially.
- Set boundaries.
Snub the worry in the bud. Take action. Go to your doctors appointments, and prepare well for projects. This way you’ll feel in control. You are actively doing something.
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2. Learn to let go of during situations you can’t control.
Some things are outside of your control. You’ve planned a family trip to a lake, but suddenly you see storm clouds rising and worry about the weather getting worse?
Your bus is late and you worry you’ll arrive late to a meeting with your friends? Let them know you’ll turn up late and let your worries go. It’s no longer in your control.
Once you realize you can’t control everything you’ll drop a huge baggage.
3. Give yourself a no-worries time zone
Worries occur when your brain notices potential danger. Your brain analyses information and judges wether you are in danger or not. So be very careful which information you soak up and when.
You might get worrisome information from:
- The News
- Very Anxious Friends
- Social Media
What do you worry about? How did you get triggered?
Set time boundaries and limit the time frame wherein you can receive worrisome information.
Only consume worrying information if its absolutely necessary. Don’t dwell on them. Don’t play them on repeat. (Watching the same news all over again, only increases your anxiety)
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4. Have an active life
Do you worry as much when you are with friends? When you focus on a project? I believe actions are the fastest remedy for our worries.
All that sitting at home has done us no good. It gave us wayyy to much time to think and rethink things.
Learn to enjoy the little moments:
- Go on a walk. Nature is very calming an ernergizing.
- Meet with friends. (Not friends that drain you)
- Try yoga.
- Prepare tea or coffee and really focus on the taste, the smell.
- Watch relaxing Youtube videos instead of upsetting ones.
- Stay offline
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TO DISTRACT YOUR BRAIN FROM WORRYING.
Conclusion
Life always gives us something new to think about. Especially when there are big changes ahead. We’ve finally settled in, adapted, and *BANG* the next big thing happens.
It’s hard to not stress during those times. Hard to let go of our worries.
But those 4 tips have helped me deal and reduce my worries.
Sometimes I feel like I should freak out more. How can I enjoy the little things when uncertainty is looming?
In those cases I remind myself: Each moment once passed is forever gone.Better soak it up while it lasts.
