3 Simple Steps to overcoming your fears + Karl Albrecht's 5 basic fears theory

Fear is like a worried mother bear. As soon as something seems the tiniest bit dangerous, she will jump in and hold us back. Sometimes we have to tell her I am quite capable of handling this. I know you worry about me, but I can do this! If you wonder: “How do I find my fear and how do I conquer fear?” keep reading!

The 5 Most Common Types of Fears and how they affect our Life:

According to Dr. Karl Albrecht, there are 5 types of basic fears. All of our fears are in one way or another linked to our 5 basic fears. Regardless of what we fear the biological reaction is always the same. Let’s take a look:

The Fear of Extinction/ Death

The fear of stopping to exist, to die, to being forgotten. If you have such a fear, you might:

Try to build a legacy.
Worry about death more than others.
Have a fear of heights, the ocean, flying

that might cause your death.

The Fear of Mutilation / Being Hurt

This is the fear of losing parts of our body, getting hurt, having our body invaded. If we are afraid of Mutilation, we might:

Fear certain animals.
Be afraid of situations that might cause bodily harm.
Therefore, we might avoid certain places and situations.

The Fear of Losing our Autonomy / Freedom

The Fear of having someone tell you what to do, being stuck, imprisoned “immobilized, paralyzed, restricted, enveloped, overwhelmed, entrapped, imprisoned, smothered” (- Albrecht). If you are afraid of losing your autonomy you might:

Rebel against your partner/ parents.
Be controlling.
Be afraid of becoming sick.
Have nightmares about traps.

The Fear of Separation / Abandonment

The Fear of Separation includes being abandoned, rejected, not valued, or disconnected from people. If you are afraid of Separation, you might:

Not approach people you are interested in.
End relationships before the other person can.
Be really affected by the “Silent-Treatment”.
Wait for the people around you to leave you.
Be anxious about the death of loved ones.
Be clingy.

The Fear of Ego-death / Humiliation

The fear of being shamed, disapproved of, humiliated. If you have that fear you might:

Worry about humiliating yourself.
Not state your opinion.
Worry about other people’s opinion of you.
A fear of puplic speaking.

How do we overcome fear?

Our Fear is linked to:

The Expected Degree of Danger
The Expected likelihood of a negative outcome
Our Coping abilities

For example:

Let’s say we try to achieve a handstand. We are afraid to get hurt. We probably won’t think we will die doing a handstand. Maybe the danger is a sprained wrist.

We can decrease our estimated degree of danger by reducing the risks e.g., ask someone to hold us. Lay out mats. Practice small steps. Think about your fear. How could you reduce the risks?

How likely it is that we get hurt depends on a few factors. Are we good at sports? Is there a mat? Have we done something similar before?

The best way to reduce our expected likelihood of a negative outcome is by proving to our brain the exercise is safe. We can imagine a positive outcome as a first step. We can watch people successfully do the handstand. If they can do it, surely, we can do it too? Next, we might try small steps towards the exercise despite our fear. And finally, we have to do the handstand a few times.

Last but not least, even if we hurt ourselves can we cope with the results? Can we still do our job?

The trust in our coping abilities comes with experience. Look at all the fears you’ve had and how you overcame them. The hard situations you have lived through. You will realize you can cope with more than you expected.

Therefore, in order to improve our fears, we have 3 options.

We can decrease the degree of the expected negative outcome.
We can minimize the likelihood of the negative outcome.
Or we can work on our coping abilities.

10 Questions To Find Your Biggest Fears:

Is there something you really want to do, but you aren’t because you are scared? What do you think the negative outcome might be?
Do you avoid certain tasks/ experiences?
What makes you feel uncomfortable?
What is the scariest job you can think of?
If you went on a 1-year adventure, what would you be worried about?
When you watch a movie what disturbs you the most?
How do your fears impact your daily life?
Which phobia category best describes you? Pain, Animals, Humiliation, Drowning?
Do you like rollercoasters?
How would you feel if you had to audition for a movie?