Today we are going to find out our limiting beliefs and prejudices. Last time we already took a look at our self-beliefs both good and bad. Today we find out what is holding us back!
Our beliefs, including limiting beliefs and prejudice, are the software we are running on. All our decisions are based on the information we have previously gathered. Sadly, when we are young, we are like a sponge and suck up all the information. Regardless of how true it is. Our beliefs are also deeply connected with our fears, and our self-esteem.
What Are Limiting Beliefs? (Examples)
- I am not good at math.
- Short people aren’t good at sports.
- Money causes all the problems.
- I am not worthy.
- I can do nothing right.
- When people are chubby, they are lazy.
Limiting beliefs come in all forms. We meet them every day. Have you ever stopped yourself from achieving a goal because you didn’t think you could succeed? Or have you been judged by a person because they had a limiting belief?
Definition of Limiting Beliefs:
“A limiting belief is a state of mind, conviction, or belief that you think to be true that limits you in some way.” – LifeHack.Org
It is extremely hard to unlearn false information and the longer back we have learned it the more challenging the unlearning becomes. And we can have beliefs and prejudices about literally everything!
Nevertheless, we don’t only have negative beliefs! We also have amazing and positive beliefs that I just have to mention here. Not everything we learned is “bad”. And not every belief is “wrong”.
- Everyone deserves a chance.
- I can handle it.
- The good I do comes back 10 fold.
Causes of Limiting Beliefs and Prejudice
Our beliefs come from our environment. Each interaction, each experience, especially when we are young can form a belief. Some common sources are:
· Family
· Kinder garden
· School
· Society
· Books/ Movies
· Education
· Experiences
I remember very vividly, when I was a high school student, I was called to the board by my math teacher. I dreaded it. I tried to look as insignificant as possible. Hoping, wishing he would overlook me this time. But, nah no chance he called me out. Again. Embarrassed. Again. When I finished the calculation, he looked at my results and said in this quiet disappointed voice: “WRONG”
My classmate contradicted him. He recalculated. It was right after all. Relief.
“In that case”, he said, “someone must have helped her”. Crushed.
2 Limiting beliefs were born:
Ø Attention = Embarrassment
Ø I suck at math.
As I look back, I should have made an appointment with him and talked our issues out. As it stood, it took a really long time for me to learn to speak up in front of a crowd again without feeling uncomfortable. Sometimes I still worry about trying new things in front of people out of fear of embarrassing myself. Life isn’t all fluffy.
What we have to learn is to do stuff anyways in spite of our limiting beliefs, in spite of our worries, and especially in spite of our fears. And we will learn to overcome them. The things that make us feel the most uncomfortable are usually exactly what we need to do in order to grow.
How To Figure Out Your Underlying Limiting Beliefs And Prejudices:
Observation:
The first thing you might do is get a notebook and a pen and observe a week how you behave in certain situations. What limiting thoughts do you have? What’s your underlying limiting belief? And how you want to react the next time you are in a similar situation.
Also, observe what the people around you keep saying. Your friends and family. Is there a common theme? How do they make you feel about yourself, about certain topics?
Often, we accept truths from people, when they are no experts either. Would you listen to study tips given by an F grade student? Probably not. But often we do exactly that. When the people surrounding us say something about us, we accept it as the truth. When the one person who knows us the best is well … us.
Test Your Beliefs With Discussions And Experiences:
A great way to test your beliefs is through discussions and experiences. And thanks to the internet we have the amazing chance to meet people with all kinds of beliefs.
Exercise 1:
Ø Write down your currents beliefs and check what other people think about the topic. Join discussion groups.
Ø Ask questions and be open about the answers. Dabble into new interesting topics. You think short people suck at sports? I am sure there are short people, who excel in sports. Go online and find them.
Exercise 2:
Make new experiences.
Ø Write a list with all the things you want to try. Do they challenge you? If so, why? Write down what you want to try and what is holding you back.
Ø Are there tasks you really dread? Like your heart starts beating crazy? If so, what are they, and why are they so hard to accomplish?
Evaluation:
Last but not least combine everything that you’ve learned from the observations, the discussions, and thinking about new experiences. Is there a red line? What are the top 3 limiting beliefs that are holding you back?
Now let’s go and tackle them!
How To Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs And Prejudices
Learning to believe in yourself takes time. The solution is simple, but the path isn’t easy. You can try positive affirmations like so many growth bloggers recommend. And I think they definitely won’t hurt. But as for me, my brain isn’t stupid. If I feel ugly in the morning because I am bloated like a puffer fish, no positive affirmation can change that. Even if I tell myself a thousand times you are pretty. It won’t change a thing. At that moment my brain won’t believe it.
1. First Of All When You Are Already In A Challenging Situation:
- Stop
- Breath In
- Breath Out
- Count Down 5 Seconds
- Is this reaction caused by a belief, prejudice, or fear?
- Ok, this is what I will do!
- React
The truth is. I don’t know an easy way to overcome a limiting belief. What I know works is to challenge yourself over and over again until you become comfortable. Until I think I can do it.
When you believe you can’t speak in front of a crowd you’ll have to speak in front of a crowd until you are comfortable. Practice with people who are also beginners and who won’t judge you for mistakes.
Work out when you aren’t comfortable in your skin. You’ll be proud of how strong you grow. Don’t focus on the look. Focus on the feeling of strength and health.
When you believe you suck at math. The best thing to overcome that belief is to start doing exercises. Join a math club. Or you can work together with other students who “suck” at math and learn as a group.
When you are scared to embarrass yourself when speaking up, you’ll have to speak up until your brain knows that belief was just that, a belief.
And when you fail the first time you can’t stop. Or your belief will just be reinforced. You’ll have to try again. And again and again.
Sometimes when I feel like a puffer fish and I know it’s just something I ate, my period, or me generally having a low confidence day. I just need a distraction until the thought passes. Like music, cleaning and singing, like spending time with positive kind friends, or like a self-care evening routine to get my mental strength back.
2. Figure Out The Root Cause Of Your Belief.
If it occurred in the past well we can’t change that, but if you still have a demon sitting on your shoulder (like a very cruel family member or friend) whispering about how undeserving you are, how you lack skills or any such thing figure out who that person or thing is.
- It can be Instagram, showing you how “ugly” you are
- It can be a family member telling you, how disappointed they are.
- Or LinkedIn shows you how far ahead your classmates are.
Don’t ask their opinion. Don’t tell them about things you will experience until you have actually accomplished them. If possible don’t spend a lot of time with them.
Unfollow channels that trigger you. Instead, follow sides that motivate you and make you happier.
3. Make New Experiences.
The best way to figure out your limiting beliefs is to try out new things. Go to places that you usually wouldn’t go to. Meet people you usually wouldn’t hang out with. People with different jobs, and different religious, sexual, or ethnic backgrounds. Travel and learn about different cultures. Don’t be hateful, be open. Change your point of view.
You aren’t failing. You are learning.
So To Sum It Up:
Our thoughts become our reality. Limiting Beliefs were mostly formed when we were young. They come from our environment.
We can identify our limiting beliefs through observations, discussions, and planning experiences.
We can overcome our limiting beliefs through awareness, challenging ourselves, and making new experiences.
Wrapping it up I hope we can all go out and challenge our beliefs. You can do anything you set your mind to! Overcome your limiting beliefs and grow. Supporting each other as a team. A community. You might also be interested in a list of core values 🙂
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Love from Germany,
Carina and Julia
