Project Girl 2 Woman, Author at ProjectGirl2Woman

Challenge Your FEARS – a 2021 approach

Everyone has fears. Small children might be scared of monsters under their bed or what’s lurking in the dark. But even grown ups carry their fears around. Some have accompanied us since our childhood, some were formed by society and life. While most fears don’t keep us from having a nice life others can have a huge impact on our careers and relationships.

What are your fears?

The first task is to reflect on yourself and to think about everything that scares you. Whether we are afraid of heights or of our next dentist visit, everything is legit. Even though I have many fears on my list I’d like to share my fear of spiders but also the fear of being social. Both fears have the same impact on me: I am terribly scared of both of them. While the fear of spiders usually ends in a loud scream and me threatening the poor little creature with a slipper to leave, the fear of being social definitely has a more severe impact on my life.

How do they hinder you?

Before I go deeper into why the second fear has a deeper impact, I want to give you the next task: Write down how they hinder you. It could be that you are an amazing comedian and you love what you do but your stage fright just keeps you from appearing publicly. Or your dream car requires you to have a driver’s license, but you are scared of driving and thereby don’t dare to apply. Write down a few words for each fear.

Now before we move on: The social fear.

Being scared of social interactions definitely hinders you in many areas of your life. Practicing hours before meetings on what you say, shaky hands and a rapid heartbeat to just make a short call. You fear to speak up in case you embarrass yourself terribly. You don’t dare to say something in class, just in case you get it wrong and people laugh at you.

Not only does this behaviour say alot about your confidence but it also gives you hardships when it comes to school and work performance. Do you know that feeling? You might also have the fear of being social. Being unable to present yourself in interviews and presentations makes it hard for you to prove yourself worthy for a job or promotion. You might have great ideas but you never state them. It just holds you back from living life. But:

How would life be without the hindrance?

This third point helps, and helped me the most with fighting my fears. I just imagine how life would be without those fears. Being able to talk freely. Being able to bungee jump off a high building. Being able to just enter the plane. To just watch the lightning in awe. Or to just enjoy the time being alone. Wouldn’t it be amazing to just lift these chains we were bound to all this time?

What caused those fears?

But, to unlock the chains we need to find the key. And just with most mental barriers, fears also were triggered by either bad past experiences or our survival instincts. It wasn’t hard for me to figure out why I was scared of social interactions. Already in middle school people laughed at what I said. Sometimes for entertainment purposes, sometimes to hurt me.

At that moment I was very insecure about how people reacted towards me, so I tried my best to avoid negative feedback by avoiding interactions in general. Even though people left and came into my life, the fear of embarrassing myself in front of others stayed. Where did your fears come from? Is someone you grew up with scared of something and you just mirror his/her behaviour? Have you been in an accident, bullied or in any similar situation that had an impact on your life? Write it down.

It’s great to know where our fears come from. But without action there is no change. So our next step is to find one simple way on how we can fight it. Simple and easy. You don’t need the Eiffel Tower to fight your fear of heights. (But you need a driver’s license to fight your fear of driving!) You could look for a very high building you can visit or a nice hiking route.You could find someone who has a pet spider and meet with her. You could ask a friend to fly with you if you are afraid of flying. Or you could take part of a swimming course if you are afraid to drown. If you are scared of social interactions: So go and do things alone, dare to give someone a compliment or just raise your hand in class.

Do it anyway.

At one point you will be standing there, nauseous, with shaky knees and sweaty hands. And you will have to choose if you want to push through or give in. This is what fears do to us. Take a deep breath, remember why you have to do this and just act. The more often you will fight through these uncomfortable situations the easier they get.What I have learned over the past 12 months is that fears are like a muscle: You have to train them regularly to keep them strong. Being in lock down definitely threw me back with my progress, yet there is no way that I give up on my goal of being fearlessly social. I know that you, too, can achieve your fear free life once you set your mind on it.

Summary:

1. 1. What are your fears?
  2. How do they hinder you?
  3. How would life be without the hindrance?
  4. What causes those fears?
  5. What can you do to fight these fears?
  6. Do it anyway.

Topics that could also be relevant to you:

[Read] How to become Proactive – Create your “Proactive Personality”

[Read] The Mindset Of Successful People

[Read] How to get better at Communication – The most important Skill

[Read] 64 Questions for Self-Searching and Finding Yourself

[Read] 10 Ways to be more Social during Quarantine

If you want to get informed about the latest updates, please subscribe to our newsletter. Last but not least we update every Wednesday and every Saturday. So, it would be great to see you again. Also, for updates follow us on:

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Instagram: projectgirl2woman

Twitter: @girl2_woman

Love from Germany,

Carina and Julia

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103 Small Joys & simple pleasures in life

Project Girl 2 Woman

This year has been yet another mess.

I’ll let you in on my little secret. Despite all the bad news, I am content. I am living in the moment and I love to be alive.

My method: Living in the moment through small joys and simple pleasures.

Each simple pleasure can brighten your day. Self-Care commercials are telling us that we need the next big self-care routine.

While self-care routines have their place small joys don’t give you extra stress. They bring real relaxation. Let’s dive right into my list of simple pleasures :

103 Small Joys & Simple Pleasures to Brighten your Day

1. Having your Back Scratched

2. Listening to Music in the Shower

3. The smell of Fresh Warm bread

4. Late Night Walks in the Moonlight

5. Reading a Book on a Rainy Day

6. cuddling into your blankets knowing you don't have to get up

7. A cup of Tea

8. The smell of Freshly cut Grass

9. Opening a fortune cookie

Do you know how exciting it is to open one of those yummy treats? No? Anyways you’ll get a cookie even if the message isn’t satisfying 😉

10. Checking Your Achievements

One of my most favorites activities at the end of the day! Checking all the things I’ve accomplished. Instead of blaming yourself for not getting things done make it a routine to check all the stuff you actually accomplished.

11. Look through old pictures

Now let’s come to something less exciting and more heartwarming: old pictures. I love to go through my whole phone and scan every picture in detail. Some make my heart throb of wanderlust while others just make me appreciate having my loved ones around me.

12. Take new pictures.

Create some small joys for the future. Take new pictures for your future selve “Look, child, that picture is from new years 2022″ – when we had no electricity. Fun times”.

13. Light some Sparklers in the Dark

What an incredible invention! Nothing looks more magical than lighting some sparklers, alone or with others.

14. Video chat with your loved ones

But some memories are better shared with family and friends, so why not call them if you can’t meet them? Maybe they also have sparklers and you can light them together? With apps like houseparty (unsponsored, just in case) you can also play games while calling!

15. Do something childish

Sometimes it is better to be alone and let our inner child free. Just for a moment. You can jump on the bed, drink milk from the carton and try to dance after professional dances on youtube. It is never a bad thing to laugh about ourselves and to just enjoy the moment.

16. Follow family traditions

It is a nice gesture to honor your family traditions by keeping them for this year’s new year eve. Not only will it make you appreciate your family more but als bring forth happy emotions your brain connects with these activities.

17. Be creative

There are tons of ways to start the next year inspired and/or maybe even with a newly created masterpiece, finished just minutes before the new year starts.

Examples

Craft a vision board
Write a fiction book about your journey
Draw yourself in this moment
Draw your future self or your future lifestyle
Make a song
Craft gifts or small decorations for your house
Learn/Edit a video or picture
Learn 3D modelling

There are so many small activities that can make you happy. The easiest way to choose is to follow your heart and do the things that give you joy and peace.

If you meet your family – please keep safety measures in mind and don’t risk infecting them or anyone else (In case of symptoms or doubt of being infected. )

Also, don’t feel sad for spending this year alone. There are millions of people in the same shoes who are ready to connect online and share those memories together!

We wish you all a happy and wonderful new year!

Like this post? Then come back on Saturday for more <3

via GIPHY

Topics that could also be relevant to you:

[Read] 17 Negative Habits to Get Rid of in 2020!

[Read] 15 Simple Life Lessons We Learned In Our Early 20s

Pinterest: projectgirl2woman

Instagram: projectgirl2woman

Twitter: @girl2_woman

Love from Germany,

Carina and Julia

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9 Ways to be Less toxic in 2022

Project Girl 2 Woman

Last year was definitely a rollercoaster year and so is this year, full of ups and downs. Once in a while it’s time to sit down and take the time to self-reflect.

At the end of the summer semester of 2020, we had a very fun group work. But, during our last session, the presentation of our project, a group member threw me under the bus to catch a better grade.

Now it wouldn’t be a self-reflection if I wouldn’t reflect on my own behavior. I blamed her for doing me wrong. I was frustrated, angry, and even hurt as I thought she was a good friend.

But as much as it hurt, it was also a good lesson taught. How do I treat others? Do I make them feel the same way? Why am I doing it and when? Am I a toxic person?

It is easy to only concentrate on your own emotions and feelings, but how do you make another person feel?

7 ways to be less toxic in 2021

Don't Do's:

1. Stop blaming others!

The first thing you need to do is stop blaming other people. It is not their fault that you couldn’t afford your dream college. It’s not their fault that the boy/girl didn’t fall for you. It’s not their fault that you didn’t get the job.

Look at yourself. You could have worked a part-time job to afford the college. You didn’t have the necessary skills to impress the company. And no, it’s not their fault that you missed opportunities because you didn’t have the courage to give it a go.

Look at yourself. What can you do to change the situation? What can you do so it won’t happen again in the future?

2. Stop being Jealous!

Every time I think about jealousy I think about this green monster with ten eyes and an evil grin. It makes us feel bitter and say/do unreasonable things. Why else would we suddenly insult people close to us just for being better in certain activities or having better things/ a better running business?

In most cases we don’t even want to be that mean – It is just coming out of our mouth. But aren’t we as hurtful only because it makes us feel bad about ourselves? Maybe even guilty for not putting the needed work in?

So why are we jealous about others, if we actually should be angry at ourselves? I don’t like to admit that I used to be a jealous person. But accepting how it is and changing your own way of thinking can change how you treat people and how people treat you.

So to stop being jealous is definitely one way to be less toxic. How can you do it? Reflect on yourself every time you get jealous or angry at someone.

3. Stop guilt-tripping

Your best friend doesn’t have the time to come to your birthday? Fine. Then you tell her that she is a horrible friend who only looks only after herself.

To make sure she is coming you just add a little lie that your family also can’t make it and that you are all alone now on your birthday. It’s her fault you feel lonely. Guilt-tripping is not okay. It’s a major sign of a toxic behavior.

This is the most toxic behavior I have witnessed so far and I can just tell you to stop what you are doing. If you are angry that your friend doesn’t come to such an important event then simply tell her that.

It is not necessary to play with the emotions of your friends and family just so you get what you want. How would you feel if your friends would treat you this way?

[Read: How to get better at Talking to People]

4. Don’t use or hurt anyone!

There are so many examples I could give here. Like making your coworker finish your projects and then collect the rewards of his work.

Making friends just to gain a bit of popularity. Pretending to like someone just to bad talk about the person when meeting with others. Stop having bad intentions towards others. Stop looking for an opportunity to push yourself by making them feel bad about themselves. You don’t want to be used or hurt and neither do they.

5. Avoid judging people too Quickly

Do you think a person has acne because they didn’t wash their face? You think people who are chubby just don’t work out enough. You make fun of people who are “just” production workers. (Not only is that really mean you also don’t know the backtstory.)

6. Don't Manipulate and Control people

Do you use manipulation to get your way? Try not to manipulate people.

7. Don't make fun of people

Are you laughing at other people’s misfortune? Or do you make fun of their body character and so on? Become aware of your speech pattern and your behavior and stop being rude.

What other toxic behavior do you know? Let us know in the comments below 🙂

Do's

8. Start listening To be less Toxic

And I really mean active listening. Try to understand your friend or relative. Try to put yourself in their position. Yes, it is hard. We cannot feel what others feel. But we can do our best to try to understand them. If your friend sees you as trustworthy and heartbrokenly tells you her inner secrets, then don’t make it a competition. It is not all about you. Keep yourself out of the situation and be a bystander, a shoulder to lean on.

Example: Your friend tells you that her brother is really sick and that she was very close to him. Don’t tell her that one of your relatives even has it worse. Instead, comfort and support her.

[Read: 4 Reasons why you should improve your listening skills!]

9. Be vulnerable, honest, and open

Also, take the last example to be open to your friends. It is okay to show weaknesses. It’s okay to not always be okay. Most relationships are only superficial as everyone is too scared to be hurt. Be honest, don’t lie about yourself to make you look better. Lies will eventually be uncovered anyway. Rather be yourself and stop comparing yourself to others. Being toxic to yourself is also destructive.

10. Think before you talk

Most mindset clusters or habits are self-taught by books or videos. Most of them. But this one is something I have learned from my dad. Maybe that’s why it was so easy for me to follow this rule: I have heard it since I was a child. Think before you talk. Maybe my sister and I said mean things to him when we were small. Maybe he learned it from his own experiences. Or maybe he knows how important it is to be careful with one’s words. It doesn’t matter why he taught us but that he did. And I hope you also learn this lesson. The easiest way to avoid hurting people is to stop yourself from saying something nasty.

11. Learn to Apologize

You behaved badly? Time to accept your shortcommings. Admit to your mistakes and learn how to apologize to other people. It doesn’t only make you less toxic. People like people, who own their mistakes.

12. Make Positive Friends

You are who your friends are. Are your friends a bunch of meanies? Make some new friends. Get into a positive group.

Summary:

These are 9+ ways to be less toxic. Don’t forget that we are all in the same boat. Be kind to each other. Support. Help out. Just a small gesture can make the world a better place. And remember what you send out comes back. So if you are nasty to people, people are nasty back to you and when you are nice to people, people will be nice to you too.

Topics that could also be relevant to you:

[Read] 17 Negative Habits to Get Rid of in 2020!

[Read] 15 Simple Life Lessons We Learned In Our Early 20s

If you want to get informed about the latest updates, please subscribe to our newsletter. for updates follow us on:

Pinterest: projectgirl2woman

Instagram: projectgirl2woman

Twitter: @girl2_woman

Love from Germany,

Carina and Julia

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